Lady, I Will Blog For You, Tonight

I've lost the inspiration to write something new, so when it knocks again i'll let you all know!

The premise behind the following

For my Introduction to Poetry course we were required to pick up a tabloid magazine and construct a poem based upon the title of the article. Sooooo when you read the title, i'm sure you'll enjoy it! I found it entertaining to write!

The Joy of Geriatric Sex

Sunday afternoon, and all that I could

Find on TV is old reruns of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman or a religious service

I could care less about. The wife being in the bathroom for sometime had me worried.

Should I even attempt to leave the luxury of my two-year-old Sealy PosturePedic

And see what that woman was up to?

Nope

Dr. Quinn had my attention at the moment. I remembered when she used to look like that.

Her smooth, bronze skin, the petite waistline, and that sex drive…

The neighbors must have thought we were rabbits! If she could still

Have that sex drive…

…

I spoke

Too soon.

The off-white bedroom walls became doused in darkness

As if the copper carpet clashed with her feet,

Created a spark to ignite a flamboyant fire, and

In her trail was a thick smoke.

The only thought that crossed my mind is that I'm next.

All the curtains had been closed

The TV extinguished

This was the shit doctors can't prescribe ailments for (they can for what may

Come next, but my plaid trousers provide enough evidence that it won't be necessary).

From the glimpse I grabbed earlier, her body was caressed with a coral blue corset and Matching lace boy-cut shorts.

To think she can still fit into them

She struts her sexy self over to the side table next to me

The scent of White Diamonds overwhelmed me after she slowly

Forfeited her hand to my body.

One button undone.

Two.

They all succeeded each other on my Brooks Brothers dress shirt

Like floats in the Macy's Day Parade.

A quick tug on my collar brought me closer as her lips graced the presence of mine.

Now it was on like Donkey Kong.

¿Cómo malo usted lo desea? snuck in between every pressurized peck.

I knew taking those Spanish classes would pay off someday.

I raised my hands to sift her silver-stressed locks, searching for hidden treasure.

Her rebuttal was to place them on her derriere, which made me think that the plaid

Trousers wouldn't hold much longer, but she read my mind.

Off those went along with her corset. As our flesh complemented each other, it didn't feel Like it always does.

A smooth coat of youth seemed to overlay our worn out bodies.

A stroke here.

A nibble there.

Oohs and aahs overflowed the room like someone forgot to turn off our mouths.

We were lying next to each other naked and not a single negative comment was made.

It was bliss.

Insertion occurred.

Moments passed.

We

Shortly

Passed out

To the rhythm of synchronized snoring.

The joy of geriatric sex.

Test Blog

Here's a test of what kind of blogs i'll be posting. This is actually a nice one. Enjoy!

Dated: March 9, 2007:

Title: Why am I so nice?

So check this out:

Today I had to get some Munchkins for work at Dunkin Donuts this morning. I'm on this committee and we introduced these boards and suggestion boxes to the rest of staff. Just wanted to give you some background as to why I would get munchkins @ Dunkin Donuts. Actually I had to get 2 50 counts and 1 25 count. They fucked my order up because I wanted mixed glazed and chocolate in the 50s and just glazed in the 25. Alas, I digress.

Background

So, I called in the order last night. Told them i'd pick it up around 7:15-7:30. I get there around 7:20 and there's a damn long line. So I sit on line and there's this guy joking around saying "man I feel like i'm at the airport or something" and I had a good chuckle with him. He's not important. It's finally my turn in the line so I tell the woman I placed an order last night and was here to pick it up. She looks confused as hell and then this woman (if I can call her that) says "Two 50s and a 25?" and I confirm. Now, to clarify the phrase in parentheses, this lady was fuuuuuugly! I don't mean to be superficial, but I could see the razor stubbles on her cheeks and her upper lip. On top of all of that, she's got a lazy eye and I was hoping that she wouldn't get my Munchkins; for the sake of my health and my coworkers.

The plot thickens...

Anyway, another employee grabs them and the confused woman asks if I want anything else. I really wanted something but I had to get to work and set all this crap up. I hand her my check card and wait for a receipt. INSTEAD, I get $17.37 (the price of my order). Not thinking correctly, I grab the cash and head to work. It didn't strike me until I got into the parking garage. I realize "Shit, this chick just gave me what I should have given her!" I kind of chuckled a bit but then realized she might actually get in trouble for this. I remember back at FSI(the old on-campus food vendor @ FGCU) how managers would flip a shit if your register was under by 5 cents. Not saying it's like that everywhere, but I felt really bad. If you know me for real, i'm probably one of the nicest people you've ever come across. I'd drop any and everything to help someone out. So yeah, this shit sat on my conscience all day. Talked with a few coworkers and the majority of em said "fuck it, pocket it!" haha. I would have but i'm not really that kind of person.



The reason i'm writing this...

After work, I had a few drinks w/David and Jeni (a few coworkers I hang out with) and that was delicious. Mmm Jack n Coke (times two!). Reached in my pocket to pay the tab and BOOM, I see the 17 bucks chilln there. Jeni and David were getting ready to leave anyway so I had plenty of time to run to the Dunkin Donuts and let them know what happened. I get there and of course nobody that worked this morning was in (shit, I wouldn't be). I asked to speak to a manager and I could see the employee's face get really sour. She may have thought that I was gonna bitch them out. Gave them the background on the story (reference "The plot thickens) and said I was willing to give back the money AND pay for what I ordered! You should have seen the look on this woman's face. It was as if they were expecting me to just pocket the money, ya know? I guess since a majority of people I work with wouldn't have bothered to return the money, she had reason to make her face like that. She asked for my number because they were going to look in the reports to see if I was actually charged for it and just didn't get a receipt or whathaveyou. I.E., I may have been charged without knowing and she just wanted to contact me in case I was so I could get the money I was paying them.


What is the world coming to???

I know times are changing blah blah blah, but it really shocked me that she was surprised by my effort; that I would have just left without thinking twice about giving it back. Honesty really is rare these days. It's always take and never give. I wasn't raised that way. I really had to put myself at the other end of the table. Would I have wanted someone to walk away with money they shouldn't have? I could word that differently but I really don't care, it's been a long week haha. Morality really has gone out the window in society today. It may just be in this country but I don't know.


Thanks for tuning in! Let me know what you think about it. I'm hoping this all made sense.